Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
