He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
