There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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