I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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