if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
