Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
