you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
