omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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