Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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