The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
