he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He passed out mid-signature
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
