the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hippo gnu deer
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
