you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
