i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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