I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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