I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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