Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
