just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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