Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
