i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize