I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize