it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You just made me feel so damn special
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
