I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
