I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize