hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
