My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
