She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize