You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
