hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
