I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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