chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I AM VODKA MAN
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
