We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
