We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
