I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
