i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
