i think my mom watched the whole time
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize