white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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