Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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