He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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