Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
