The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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