I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
