found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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