The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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