I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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