If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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