so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
