Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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