you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want a musical about memes.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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