Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize