How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
