whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
