ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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