It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Vodka?
Forever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
