so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
