I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
