the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
