4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
