She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
