hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
