'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
