I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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