Got a toothbrush?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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