All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
