I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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