It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
