her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
