I puked a lego.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize