and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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