Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
