Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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