u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
