I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
