my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
