FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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