the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
