I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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